A Few Rules For Dating After Divorce
Pamper yourself. Divorce is stressful and can take a lot out of you, especially your self-esteem. Treat yourself to a weekend getaway or spa day.
Try new things. Trying one new thing a month will give you confidence in yourself and you never know who you might meet.
Stay connected ... to your female friends for company and support, but steer away from "male bashing." Keep the conversations positive. Putting down your ex or rehashing old hurts will only keep you in a negative and depressed state if mind.
Start now. Why? There are a three reasons. First, to practice dating, getting ready when it will really matters; second, get comfortable around romantic interests again — it's like working out, you have to get back into "dating shape"; third, it builds your self-confidence, improving your appeal!
Don't be desperate. Desperation creates a feeling of being needy. Communicating that you'll change or do anything for him/her lowers your value. Remember the saying "people want what they can't have and don't want what they can have.
Don't use your kids. That is, don't try to create a date with someone new by jiggering a "playdate" with both of your kids at the park until you know that this person will be in your life for the longer term. It's awkward for the kids, and prevents you from really being the "non-mom" or "non-dad" version of yourself, which isn't ideal, especially when you are just getting to know each other. While you want to see how your kids will interact with your someone special, make that meeting intentional and focused on making the kids comfortable. Since that is not the case when you are dating and getting to know someone, this is the case where "killing two birds with one stone" is just a bad idea.
Don't talk about your ex ... custody schedule, or why you got a divorce on the first five dates. Do talk about what you learned from your marriage and divorce, how you grew as a person and who you are now! Especially avoid any bashing or complaining.
Don't sit home alone. Force yourself to get up and get out! No matter what, it's better to be out for a few hours socializing and mingling than bored, depressed, angry and miserable while home alone. Being alone is not fun when you are divorced. If your ex has the kids, make sure to have plans on those evenings so you're not crying the blues all by yourself. Keep busy! Sign up for new classes! Call a friend, grab a bite and take your mind off things for a couple of hours. Go to the movies! Comedies are an excellent remedy during the stress and misery of post-divorce life.
Call Marsha at Introductions By Marsha. Introductions by Marsha provides the most successful single services in the San Francisco Bay area. She meets with you personally to learn about you first-hand. With her skilled questioning, she will get a sense of what you like and want in a partner, what is important to you and what your life goals are.